Tagged by Expert Witness, and as it seems, I'm the last person in the blogosphere tagged with this one, so I won't tag anyone else.
The rules of the meme go:
1. Find the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the first five sentences.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five other bloggers.
Okay, the nearest book to hand was enthusiastically endorsed by LawDog, and loaned to me from his personal library.*
It's a bit hard to read, what with all the dog-eared pages, notes scribbled in the margins, and passages of text highlighted in pink, but here goes...
...damn. Pages 118-123 are stuck together. Page 124 is an illustration that looks like Robert Mapplethorpe has found a career illustrating children's books. Page 125 is...
...eureka! Okay, the first five sentences are partially obliterated by some sort of stain, but sentences 6-8 read:
"But Grandma, what great, big teeth you have!" breathed Little Red Riding hood, her ample breasts straining against the thin fabric of her bodice.
"All the better to eat you with, my dear!" snarled the Big Bad Wolf lasciviously, as he leapt from the bed, ripped off Grandma's kerchief and gown and stood there naked, proud and erect.
"Oooh Wolfie," chuckled Little Red Riding Hood throatily, "I do love it when you talk dirty. But do be a dear and put the gown and kerchief back on, and never break character again, mmmkay?"
The title is MILF Goose's Adult Fairy Tales, and the cover is illustrated with a goose wearing a leather corset, spanking a woodsman who looks vaguely like Fabio.
Odd, but I don't remember the fairy tales from my childhood quite this way. But I intend to keep reading to look for further discrepancies, and when I'm done, I'll fire off a strongly worded letter to Naughty Bitch Press.
*Not really, but I just couldn't resist the dig at LawDog.
In reality the closest book to hand is Special Ops, by W.E.B Griffin. The applicable sentences on page 123 are:
"Yes, Sir," Sergeant Thomas said.
"Put your heart in it, Sergeant," Lunsford said. "We don't want to keep Lieutenant Portet waiting around, do we?"
"No, Sir," Sergeant Thomas said, visibly fuming.
Personally, I liked the first version better. ;)
18 pithy observation(s).:
The title is MILF Goose's Adult Fairy Tales, and the cover is illustrated with a goose wearing a leather corset, spanking a woodsman who looks vaguely like Fabio.
--Did that fall out of my bag?
You could use some more books close at hand, or just get back into that fantasy that you first "quoted" from.
Pages were stuck together eh? I'm impressed that LawDog made it to page 118 before they got "stuck together."
I hope my next boyfriend can make it to "page 118" vs. page 2 or 3.
Haven't seen this meme. I'm afraid not many folks would be interested in the nearest book here- "Elements of Buddhist Iconography." I am such a nerd.
That's where that went.
Nice to see you are raising your daughter on the classics.
fwiw, count my vote for the first version, too.
joeymum, I can beat that - the nearest book to me is "Design of experiments" - the handbook from a statistics course (mind, I am at work!)
I think my favorite part was "Don't break character..."
Tsk. I was about to ask for the ISBN for, uh, reference purposes. ;)
MILF Fairy Tales. Bawahahahahaha!!! That's a riot!
*Could you please read some more?*
Please tell that is a real book and not something you made up. The book closest to me is "Teaching Elementary Social Studies. Principles and Applications." Not nearly as exciting as your book. If you made it up you owe it to all of us to finish the story, please.
ROFLMAO!!!! You about made me spit Diet Dr. Pepper on my screen!
Anything is preferable to W.E.B. Griffin. Any author who feels the need to use the words "chuckled" and "Famous Grouse" at least once every five pages in every book he's written is a hack. Pretty much the same plot and characters each time, with a different war and hotel rooms for keeping the story interesting.
However, I am impressed with your teaser from your new Fairy Tales effort ;) You can't go wrong with S&M waterfowl.
Everyone has me beat, the nearest book to hand was Selected Commercial Statutes for Secured Transactions. Oh yeah, I'm livin' large! Keep up the good work on the weight loss AD!
Hey, AD, where can I order a copy? amazon seems to be sold out...
And the book nearest to me right now is my copy of the 2008 BMW Owners' Anonymous book, which really has to go get put under the bike seat, where it belongs. Page 123 starts with listing the Anonymous members in Sewell, NJ... (just phone numbers and town, no names, thus "Anonymous Book".)
You read W.E.B Griffin? His older series about the second World War, and the Cold War are some of the best reading out there. His stuff on the Philly police is also real good. While I like his contemporary set novels, I don't think they are as good as his historical fiction.
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